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Channel: Nelu Mbingu
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I Know You Know That I Know You’re Lying

I hate being lied to.   You know what it is? It just makes me feel stupid. Like what kind of idiot must I be for this person to be able to lie to me so easily?   Have you ever been scammed? That’s just...

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Don’t Disturb Me While I’m Eating, Please!

I would like to preface this by saying, we all have our pet peeves. Maybe you don’t like it when people slurp their tea. Maybe you don’t like it when people leave the microwave at 00:01 seconds. Maybe...

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You Won’t Believe The Weird Reason I Started Going To The Gym

I get lost a lot of times. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m just directionally challenged. Or maybe social media is ruining me and I have the attention span of a lizard.   Sometimes I just go into a...

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I Cheated On An Eye Test

Yes, I know it was wrong okay? Potentially stupid too.   But everybody does stupid things sometimes. Or how? In the words of our Lord and Savior, Gabbie Hanna, everybody has their crazy bitch moments....

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Blaming Other People For Your Mistakes

People are funny. I think we’re all part of a cosmic sitcom that’s been on for thousands of seasons. I’m sure if you listen closely you can hear the laughing soundtrack in the background of your life....

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I Look Like I’m The Dominant One In A Lesbian Relationship

Have you ever had those moments where you’re standing next to a very tall person and you suddenly feel tiny?   What about the opposite? Have you ever been standing next to a smaller and shorter person...

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Zanele

A Short Story | Zanele is a high school senior in Windhoek   Zanele was standing at the school’s tuck-shop waiting her turn to buy a break time burger. I could see that she was distraught even before...

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I Matched With A White Boy On Tinder

Yes, that title is racist but don’t shoot yet! Let me explain.   First, I just want to start off by saying, I consider myself a progressive and modern woman. I still have a lot to learn, but I try my...

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I Found My Brother On Tinder!

You know a lot of times people ask, “Have you ever heard your parents?” Yes! Okay? Yes, I have but I would kindly not like to think about it! It’s one of those memories that you pack into a box and...

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I Stole My Laptop?!

I hate being broke. Why do we need money for every damn thing? It’s like everybody in the world is a prisoner. Money gives you temporary freedom. If you run out of money, your hands are in cuffs again...

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I Just Want Some Baking Soda

Short Story | The Thoughts Of A Yoga Instructor Named Stella   “Now stand with your feet hip-width apart, bring your hands to a prayer position, and breathe.” They can hear the lack of confidence in my...

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Did I Just Start A Family Scandal?

Over the past year, I’ve been having a lot of arguments and with my dad. No, it’s not all his fault. I have my weaknesses too. I think sometimes I can be harsh with people. I expect way more than they...

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Of Masculinity, Pussies, and Gods

Sometimes people word their arguments in a funny way.   Yesterday, I was watching Yousef Erakat on YouTube and he was talking about his experiences in Brazil with Vitaly (another YouTuber). Apparently,...

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How To Get People To Tell You Their Deepest and Darkest Secrets

{Disclaimer: I know this is one of the most twisted things I’ve ever written. It’s fiction. Read at your own risk. Do not assume anything and do not, I repeat, DO NOT read this if you’re easily...

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Crying Over Wi-Fi?

Ridiculous isn’t it?   I don’t like my job. It pays very little for work that takes a very long time to finish. Sometimes I make just a couple of cents in a whole hour.   And sometimes I lose the few...

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Watching A Live Birth In Class

My teacher was kind of a pervert. Yeah, there’s no way of dipping that in honey, he was just a horny pervert.   He would always hit on this blonde girl that sat next to me in the front of the class....

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I Wish I Was Pregnant At 14

I’ve been working for five hours in this unbearable heat. There’s no air conditioning in my room so every couple of minutes, I have to stop and fan myself with the notebook on my table. I’m tired and...

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Life Is A Little Hoe – It’s Hard For Everyone

So another thing I realized this week is that life is hard for everyone. Like a sexually frustrated middle-aged man.   I think the problem is I spend a lot of time alone, thinking about my own problems...

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Take Me Back To When I Was Single

“Just a second, honey. Let’s go through the grocery list one more time.” Gabbie Pentland growled under her breath as her husband said this. They had checked that list a dozen times already before...

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I Paid For Someone To Get Laid

This is the story of a story.   So last night I wanted to write my first diary entry about the time I paid for someone to get laid… Then I put too much pressure on myself to make it good. So I froze...

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